Yesterday I had a little contest for a free signed copy of SLAMMED for whoever could come up with the most clever answer to this question:
If you were a member of the band NICKELBACK, what would you say to yourself when you looked in the mirror?
I have to admit, the answers were hilarious. ALL of them. But these took the cake. And if you haven’t noticed by now, when I say I’m giving away one free book…it usually means five. Send me your physical address to firstname.lastname@example.org And now for the amazeballs winners:
Channa : I’d say: “I wish I were Will Cooper.” I think I should win. I also wish I were an agent because I love Will Cooper and the Avett Brothers. Now quit blogging and get back to writing, Hoover! Peace.
Francine: (Okay, points got taken away for her last line…but they also doubled for the fact that she dissed them for me, but likes them.) If I were a member of nickelback …. that’s easy… “I need to refocus. need to make a left instead of always going right. i need to make music that touches people in places that hands can’t reach. like those guys the avett brothers. their lyrics… their soul… it changes people… hell yeah…. that’s what i gotta do…. refocus.” btw… i happen to really like nickelback
Jaime Arkin: If I was an agent… I’d agent the crap out of you and slammed lol If i were nickelback what would I say to myself… “I’m sorry?” Congrats on everything very much deserved!
Sali:(Sali, you already got a free book coming, but I had to give your comment a shout out anyway!) “ok , ok , i know this , i know this ummmmm ???? whats the name of my band again ?????……………………shit its starts with a N i think ummmm ?????……………………ahhhhh fuck it!!! it isnt “the avett brothers” so what does it matter …..im never gona get in colleens pants if im not a member of the butterflying Avett Brothers !!
Jamie Salsbury: “I need a refund” That’s how I feel after hearing one of there songs…I feel like I want the time I spend listening refunded back to me. “I WANT MY NICKLE BACK BITCH”
Margot: I wish I were chuck Norris instead. And btw, last I looked, you didn’t have any bad reviews
Murphy: (This one was my absolute favorite. But since Murphy is my sister, she gets no free book.) “I need to think of some different words to that one song we keep re-releasing with different lyrics and pretending its a different song every time. But first I gotta poop.”
CRYSTAL: (Yeah, CRYSTAL…beautiful, adorable, funny, kind-hearted, best friend, Crystal…. I sort of owe you a lot of books anyway, but I loved yours.) “I knew that deal with Satan was a bad idea…”